47 gallons of crazy

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.,
Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up (I really didn't write this Coley...).

Little C is really excited to build a cat house with grampa.

No, not the kind you find in Nevada sometimes.

In Gold Beach there is a little "cat town" supported by the Humane Society to house abandoned kitties...

People bring home made "cat houses" that are made to look like miniature buildings in a town. The Humane Society then contributes to feeding them and controlling their population through sterilizing them...

No, not with alcohol, bleach, or boiling water...

Anyway, Conner has been designing the cat house on paper. Architectural plans from an 8 year old...including indoor/outdoor carpeting, central air, and space for a gumball machine.

No Dogs Allowed.

Flushback

Also from long ago in Alaska.

I may have had the mullet action going.

Can't tell. Don't want to.

Was the wind blowing or what?

More pics of Oregon adventures forthwithly....

Flasher Squirrel

A picture that was taken long ago in Anchorage...sent to me by a friend...

Cover you eyes. It is not for the faint hearted.

It is flasher squirrel.

Patay Visits Too!

Patay, Coley's bestest buddy in the world from Portland came to visit us in our coastal bliss.

We immediately took her to the beach, several times-and didn't leave her there.

We had a good time, despite the fact that Patay wanted to frequently impersonate a burrito by wrapping in multiple layers of clothing, jackets, and blankets to battle the apparently arctic type winds and frigid temperatures.

Next time Patay comes, I will buy her thermal underwear. And then I will take pictures of her in them.

Good Friends and Good Food!

Our friends, Blenda and Jamya, invited us to celebrate their 23rd anniversary with them. It was quite an honor to be invited...and quite an achievement on their part to not strangle each other after all of that time...

I mean 23 years! After that much time together you could almost finish (each other's sentences?) each other's sentences.

I mean, after all that time, even the incessant breathing in and out and in and out could get really old...

And God forbid one of them leave the cap off the damn toothpaste or something. I mean, holy hell, can't a person even make one damn mistake?!

But I digress.

We had a really nice time. Thier grandson was a little less enthused, but that is because he had apparently been up for 27 hours straight playing with trains. He was really cute and fun when he wasn't trying to poke Blenda's eyes out.

We are going to the beach with them tomorrow to build a giant bonfire...and play with innocent sea dwelling creatures that find themselves washed up on the shore.

Little C Arrives

Grampa and I met Spam and Little C halfway at Portland, and then we started our adventures.

First was to go to the "Enchanted Forest" theme park in Salem, where grampa and Little C began by picking blackberries in the parking area while we waited for it to open.

Then it was a day of rides and intimidating fairly tale creatures.

Lotsa fun!

They Actually Like Us!

We have managed to make some new friends in this area.

I hardly had to pay them anything.

Little C Attacked By Rodents!

These coastal squirrels are something else.

Fortunately, they are mostly friendly as long as you keep yourself armed with cheese and giant nuts.

Little C on the Coast!

I didn't get to spend the whole summer with Little C because of the move, but I DO get to spend most of August with her.

She is having a great time here on the Oregon Coast...running us all ragged.

These were taken at the aquarium in Crescent City-and the others were taken at my job...the last one by gramma in my office...

It is wonderful to have her with me...

Many more to come...stay tuned!

Surf..Sand...So hard to take...

So..here we are...on the beautiful Oregon Coast. So much to write, so many boxes to unpack, still getting settled. We have made new friends, found new places...I love my job...I even love driving to the store around here...the "Home of Winter Flowers" they call this place.

Our cats love it too, so all must be right with the world.

Obama-Rama Trauma

Well...it could be worse...

Thanks Doc, for the cartoon! I still always say "Ammonds" instead of "almonds" because of you!

That cat's got crabs!

I could not resist.

Perhaps we will soon have similar scenes unfolding in our very own kitchen.

By the sea.

Did I mention we are moving to the coast?

Is that a starfish in your pocket , or are you just happy to see me?

Man oh man...I cannot wait to get sand in all of my special places!

Going Coastal!

We are moving to the Oregon Coast...

the coast...where there is an ocean (a really big one)...

and trees, rocks, redwoods, fishes, sea lions, sand...

and I will still be working in the same field, same position, new company...

so I will have lots of really cool dementia stories, but they will be dementia stories from the beach.

"Hey, I don't think you are supposed to do that with a jellyfish..."