Kung Fu Crabs...Dinner AND a Show!

So, after a hard day of work, my closest friend here (J.D) was driving with me back to the house. We went around the port direction, and he suddenly detoured to where the fishing boats were docked. He smiled and told me he would be right back, and disappeared down onto the docks.

He returned carrying a bucket, which he placed in the back of the truck. He informed me that he had gotten two crabs from his friends who had just returned from the crabbing season. They came right out of the boat holding tank...

I love crab (it is illegal in Alaska to dislike seafood, unless you have an allergy and will puff up like a blowfish)...but I was a little bit concerned about having to face the inconvenient truth of critters I had witnessed being alive moments beofre ending up on my plate.

J.D. said he would handle everything, and took the bucket upstairs. I continued working, and I heard a lot of banging around coming from above. Finally J.D. called out that dinner was ready. I went upstairs, and J.D. had prepared a fantastic meal,.complete with drawn lemon butter to dip the poor things in.

Did I mention that I love crab?

It was incredible...tender, sweet, steaming hot right from the shell. I made short work of mine, and when we were done (when I finally managed to look up from my plate) I noticed that the bucket was tipped over in the middle of the room, a hairbrush lay on the floor, and other things were oddly strewn around.

I asked J.D. what happened, and he told me that he let the crabs loose while he got everything ready for cooking. Apparently they had quite a  time skittering around the livingroom, terrorizing my poor cat (who is part chicken anyway and generally afraid of air molecules), bumping into things, knocking things over, making a racket with their shells, and attmpting to fight their own reflections in the slider door window glass.  

I guess one of them even watched CNN for a little while, and attempted to adjust my equalizer.

So then we ate them.

I was downstairs, and missed the whole show..

Who needs video games when you have your dinner to entertain you?

Broken Funny Bone

I was recently trying to tell a friend that I felt like something was broken inside of me from one too many nights curled up on the floor in tears. I told her how it seemed I might never feel joy again (of course, I know better)...and how my favorite foods didn't seem to have much flavor, my favorite music inspired me to nothing, and the incredible ocean shore I awaken to each morning didn't stir me at all. I told her how I WANTED these things to bring some relief and happiness.

There was one moment a while back when I accompanied this same friend to Medford where I started laughing so hard I nearly blew milk out of my nose. (It involved her seeing "shiny people"...and my sudden urge to connect her to mental health services and a tinfoil hat...).

I came back from that trip energized, and feeling alive again-hopeful for healing.

Then I was in this house again, and the memories would not leave me alone.

As time passed I have become more desperate for relief-wanting so badly to be comforted and held, wanting to connect with someone in trust and intimacy....feeling as if that might complete a broken circuit and free me from the frozen, distant, disconnected, and distrusting place I have been in.

:Unfortunately there are very few people I trust anymore-and I recently misplaced it again...thinking I was more important to and understood by someone than I guess I was.

But...now...I found myself in a phone conversation recently with another good friend, and we ended up laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

And I felt this laughter through and through-nothing between me and this feeling I have missed so much.

So, I am sure I will feel tugs at my heart, or moments of anger. I am sure I will continue missing the things about her that no one else will ever be. But I have the most wonderful friends, and I am sure to have lovers in my future who will light up my life with the things that make them unique and special. Maybe I don't have to run so hard now...

I am back with lightness in my heart...which means that I can continue to take NOTHING seriously-and poke fun of things that are socially inappropriate to "poke fun" of. And I can find new and interesting things to lodge in my nose...or whatever it takes to make people around me as amused as I am.

And I am writing a song for HER per her REPEATED request. It is titled, "You smashed my heart through a garlic press, you bitch." It has a lot of minor chord progressions (and a kazoo instrumental).

Catchy, huh? I think it has potential.