This picture has nothing to do with this blog entry-but the "F*#k You, Penguin " guy has inspired me to put up nauseatingly cute graphics...Anyhoo-
Little C is here, and I am so thrilled I can hardly stand it. I have missed her so much. I have noticed a thing, though-part of the consequence of mediating an agreement where I am a peripheral presence.
Spam does not have a job. Spam does not have a relationship. Little C is the body around which Spam orbits...and when she enters a world where the adults have other distractions, attentions, foci...she seems a bit out of sorts. We have been having a blast, but there is not a time out to be had...and the short-term memory loss is more pronounced than the nursing home where I work.
I can spend a morning laying out the clothes, making her breakfast, running the bath, teaching her to play Solitaire, going to the store for a requested watercolor kit, buying her requested menu items, painting with her, taking her to the beach to feed squirrels and aggressive seagulls, buying her ridiculously priced Pethop Pets, going to rent the newest kid release (which makes me want to poke out my eyes with a sharp stick), foregoing any favorite or intellectually stimulating tv program to watch the Jonas Brothers give vanilla ice-cream a run for the money, turning the heat on and off and on and off to accomodate widely fluctuating body temps influenced by episodic galloping horse impersonations, spenidng an hour making a lasagna and veggie-only to have it shuffled around the plate and then followed by a request for a hotdog...
Parenting in general is like this, I do remember. But, it is hard to instill realistic expectations and a sense of empathy for those around her if her primary environment caters to every whim...and ultimately revolves totally around her.
So, this summer will be a reality check...good or bad. Little C does seem to respond to reminders to think beyond herself...put her trash in the can, clothes in the hamper, and to consider what the other is experiencing...part of socialization...
And she says "thank you" a million times, and loves to say "I love you" just because...she is sweet, and smart, and polite...and Spam has a lot to do with that...
But at about twelve or thirteen years old, I think the natural separation that Little C will initiate will be very painful for both of them...they still share a bed...and Little C is still not confident at toileting hygiene because it has been done for her...and many, many whims have been indulged without consequence or responsibility, I can tell....
So-wish me luck this summer as I re-learn to balance parenting and the rest of my life-while trying to come to terms with a parenting style (and it's consequences) that I never agreed with-
:)
Yeah, good luck. Give little one a hug from Alaska!
ReplyDeleteLove that pic. And I still would love to know who writes that blog.
ReplyDeleteYea, little C is a wonder. mostly polite, and sweet, and doesn't complain too much. She does much "testing of the boundaries" with us, which is natural....all kids her age and into their teens do that. You were an only child with a "stay-at-home" Mom too, and our lives did focus around you growing up quite a bit. I tend to agree that a single child does make for problems in the child being a tad self-centered and selfish, so that's a challenge to overcome. Hopefully this summer Conner will find some other kid friends, and daycare might help her too. Spoiling her is too easy to do when she's only here a week or so at a time. Good luck... we will help as we can. Luv you! Love that adorable girl... she needs you!
ReplyDeleteAs a single mother of a 7 year old child, and one who has been with him pretty much 24/7 for his life, I can say, kids just don't "get" that there is a world outside of their own experiences. I have to remind my son that "mama" has to work her ass off just to make him comfortable. A little reminder goes a long ways. After a reminder, he is all about picking up his dishes and putting his clothes in the basket. I am all for blunt talk about real life. "Mama, will you bring my scooter up to me?" "Hello my wonderful child, did you NOTICE that I have spent the last two hours out in the snow and rain and sleet and hail to bring in firewood and make the fire hot?" "Do you notice my sopping wet clothes my dear child?" "Oh, yeah....I'll get the scooter myself." Parenting is just an excercise in self sacrifice...
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