Who is narcissitic? Meme! Meme!

So, as part of this whole "freelance" thing, I apparently have to produce online "content"...which, translated, means I have to write a lot. I mean, a LOT. Which, first of all, means I have to get out of bed. Like, EVERY day. Bummer.

But secondly, and even more importantly, I have to write about singular topics. As if my brain can even stay on one topic long enough to actually form a linear

Squirrel!

Anyway, as I was saying, I've always wanted to try whitewater kayacking in an actual kayack.

No. That's NOT what I was saying. What I was saying was, if I want to write and get paid for it, I am going to need ideas. And then, I'm going to need a thesaurus. And THEN, I'm going to have to write about stuff that is both interesting and coherent.

Stop laughing. Gawd. It's not as if

Squirrel? Where!!??

Anyway, as I was saying, that seems like an unusually long gestation period for a fruit bat.

No. That's NOT what I was saying. I was saying something about content....content...

Oh! I know! I've discovered memes. I have a "meme generator" (back off, ladies). I don't think it will necessarily help with the actual "using of the words in a proper syntax and reasonably close spelling or punctuation" kind of way, but it does seem to be sparking some ideas. I've made a bunch of them. I will go ahead and apologize RIGHT NOW.

I will also apologize right now for what I'm sure will be my WILDLY subtle attempts to garner an audience, and to generally draw attention to my...CONTENT.

"Hi. How are you? Would you like to come upstairs and see my...content? Hey, where you going?"

Did I use "garner" correctly? I still need the thesaurus. And a computer with a fuc*^ng "h"...

Anyway, as I was saying, it is completely illegal to do that with a snowman in Vermont after Labor Day. Go ahead. Google it.