Give Peace a Chance

Me and my parents when I was a squirt...happy looking family, huh? I grew up like Beaver Cleaver, or Little House on the Prarie. That is a compliment to my parents! No traumas, no drinking, lots of love-openly expressed, no abuse at all...rare indeed...

But as for adult traumas...

Well, I did the mediation, and was kinda freaking out before going since Spam had emailed me and told me she was going for full custody, and mediation was a waste of time and money...

When I arrived Spam was in the hallway, and wouldn't even look at me as I walked past her. Fortunately the mediator only had us in the same room long enough to explain the process. Once she split us, she spent four hours going back and forth between rooms with offers and counter-offers. I had gone with an absolute decision that I was willing to listen and consider every possibility, and not treat custody like some kind of prideful, hurt contest for our daughter...thinking what was best for her...

Our mediator has been a guardian ad litem for 15 years, and has seen it all. Well, almost. I think the two women part was new for her...she was funny, and empathetic, and great at her job...

The bottom line is that even though I probably could have defended our current arrangement, Spam's attorney is notorious for dragging things out and twisting things, and the mediator told me so. She also did say that in all of her experience, having a kid go back and forth between homes during the school year was not a good idea. In all fairness, Spam is more settled than I am-and so I swallowed hard and thought of Little C...

End result: I have her ALL summer, every Chritmas, one evening per week, ALL of Spring vacation, and four weeks per year if I want for other vacations. It is still joint physical and legal custody-and Pam promised once again that she would not be baptizing Little C into Jehovah's Wacky World. She even told the mediator that she isn't going to get Baptized herself, which was news to me. I thought she already had-but I think she just likes the people an awful lot, and uses Kingdom Hall and related things as a social support. Because the actual time on a calendar comes out to almost equal, just in differing time allotments, there is no support involved other than childcare...and now I do not need to sue for the $1200.00 since Spam can continue deducting for the monthly expense. That should last about a year or more now...

So, I can exhale...and so can Spam and Little C.

whew...

B-day dinner tonight with the folks. I am looking forward to it, as I haven't seen them in quite a while. Coley is going too...