"Just Get Over It"

Oh look!

That is Coley putting a ring on my finger, and then signing her promise to me. You know...The "For Better or For Worse" one.

The marriage one.

Apparently my having reactions to being lied to and tossed aside has really caused her hair to split, or for her to miss a tanning appointment (or something). She is angry that I did the thing I have stated directly I would do for weeks now. I have been told , "people get new girlfriends all the time. Get over it."

Really? Even if they were married?

Wouldn't a shocked, hurt, angry, desperate reaction be a normal response to abruptly being betrayed by an intimate? Believing the vows, and then making emotional and financial investments as a result might create additional anger, right?

I revealed our secrets. Finally. I did not have to make a thing up.

Coley showed up at my door at 10:00 pm on a Sunday night following my trip to Sacramento. We argued.

She filed a restraining order the next morning at 9am. After she showed up at MY door unannounced.

It compromises my ability to work as a social worker, and I have NOT been violent or threatened violence towards her a single time. In Oregon all you have to do to get an ex-parte restraining order is claim fear-and it will be issued as a precautionary measure.

Yep. I yell pretty loud. Scary.

I texted her with pleas and tried to coerce her into returning to try. Pretty normal stuff for someone who is in love (after being told she was safe and loved in return) and then has to abruptly deal with her wife in someone else's bed...all without warning...lost best friend, partner, lover, advocate...and it was done by the very person I most trusted to defend me.

Yep. I flipped right the hell out.

I was SO WRONG about her.

So, now I am bad for doing what I said I would. She cried over it. Cried over the TRUTH getting out there.

I think she should write a whole blues album. Boo Hoo.Hoo. (insert brass horns and extended bass line here).

It was the truth, and SHE made the choice. She made the choice first by doing what she did to him. She made the choice again when she repeatedly told tales about me to justify her unwillingness to work on her marriage-and for obviously lying to me and cheating. She added insult to injury. I defended myself in a big way.

I am so FAR from being in love with this person now, it is amazing. I feel disrespect and pity for her. I feel she fully deserves the consequences of her actions. At first I felt that little pull...that regret that I did not keep my promise to shoulder the burden alone, and let her return the hero to her brother. It is sad after all.

He deserves to know just how self involved and untrustworthy she can be. Maybe he will forgive his big sister..I actually encouraged him to, and let him know that she loves him more than anything else on earth. I told him she has never forgiven herself for her anger, or forgiven  me for allowing it to happen.
But she screwed me without lubricant, and then wanted me to shut up and go away when I complained of  redness and chafing. My reactions have been too noisy and irritating. She might get a frown line. She literally THREW me to the wolves so she could save herself.


Dumping me like trash didn't go quite as smoothly as she had planned..

The truth of what she did is NOT MY FAULT. THE WEIGHT AND RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHO SHE IS, OR FAILS TO BE, IS NOT MY FAULT.

I told Nicole this was coming, that I was done with shielding her, and that I was intending to defend myself if she didn't knock it off.

She tried to claim that sharing information about Clint (her family) was too private and intimate. I suggested that I was also supposed to be her family, and that claiming to love me while publically flaunting an affair might be considered by some to be an intimate violation of the most "private" kind.

I told her I felt emotionally RAPED.

Then she said that coming over "was a mistake" and sped off in a spray of gravel at about 10:10pm.

She filed the order as retribution-and now my my career is at risk.

That is the LAST time I felt even an ounce of compassion for her, or her ongoing sob stories. I could care less.

I'd send it again if I could. And again. And again.

That woman is NOTHING that I admire.

.I used to think she was SO beautiful, even when she had bed head, bad breath, and morning eye boogers.

She literally grosses me out. I'm not kidding. I wouldn't accept money to be with her now...and it has little to do with her outside appearance...although that looks completely different (an very unappealing) to me now.

She will age into emptiness, surrounded by nothing real-with no one looking anymore. Truth rises. It will find her. It is already creeping up.

It is people like Coley who make our world a darker place to be......selfish and unkind, cold and rigid, moody and irresponsible, arrogant and shallow, dishonest and lacking moral compass in social relationships (not just mine).

They call her "Sybil" behind her back. There was a time I would have defended her. "Don't speak about my wife that way."

This person isn't even my friend at this point. I want to erase her nasty presence from my life.