The Great Humboldt County Tweaker Golf Cart Escape...

So, one of the suggestions I read about when researching how to be a rock star blogger was to incorporate current event stories into my blog.

OK.

Here's one: http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-California/2014/10/26/Parolee-Allegedly-High_On-Meth-Crashes-Stolen-Golf-Cart-While-Evading-Police-On-Highway

Yes, I have a few opinions and observations about this one.

First of all, when I do my "high on meth police evading," I prefer to use a more sensible escape method...like a stolen bicycle. Or if I'm REALLY high, on horseback (that's for another blog entry). But, a stolen golf cart? Come on!

How elitist.

I guess you have to give the guy some points for creativity. I'm from the area where this took place, and am very familiar with the general location in northern California. It happened near the little town of Arcata, along a stretch of some of the most beautiful coastline in North America.

Highway 101 is famous for being one of the most scenic drives in the world. It is heavily traveled by visitors and local sightseers alike. Nearly 30,000 vehicles pass by any given stretch of Highway 101 on a typical day. It is not unusual to see tourist filled motorhomes, and family filled passenger cars out for a beautiful drive alongside the ocean beaches.

Unfortunately, it is increasingly being used for meth induced golf cart escapes.

This is troubling, and dangerous. This particular story indicates that this parolee floored it, and at one point reached speeds in excess of 10 miles per hour. I mean, what if he had run into a redwood tree or something? He totally could have tipped over. Who wants to subject their family to seeing carnage like that?

It's not such a big problem in places like Scottsdale, or maybe Palm Springs, where everyone is in a perpetual state of golfing anyway. Or maybe Florida, where large numbers of retired people are using their golf carts to do stuff like to go shopping at Walgreens, to meet at the Golden Corral Buffet, or to plan a big heist at the Moose Lodge Bingo Extravaganza. You expect to see the golf carts on the sidewalks...and highways...and sometimes involved in dangerous pursuits. It just comes with the territory.

It's First World senior problems.

"Get off mah lawn!"

"Don't tell me what to do, Mavis!"

 

But, I'm not sure how to address this ever-increasing social problem in Humboldt County, where the populace just isn't used to the hard-core criminal golf cart activity.

I'm thinking we need to get the tweakers to talk to the stoners, and maybe convinve them to switch over to dune buggies.

 

Dude.